It took me a while to admit I still judge myself.
I was rather comfortable doing what I love, teaching women how to reclaim their cycle as a source of power, holding Red Tents, empowering women…
But my mother’s voice kept nagging me. I heard her in my head, loud and clear, exactly as she sounded when I was 8, 10, 12 years old.
I heard her say how she gained weight. She often complained she doesn’t fit into her clothes. I often heard her say she must go on a brutal diet to lose weight quickly.
She announced I’m heavier than my best friend. I was surprised when she hid all the chocolate and treats in the house, so they are out of my reach. She said my sweet tooth is going to ruin my life.
In this picture I am 14 years old, at a time when I felt ugly, fat, and worthless.
It was only as a strong young woman that I realized my Mom’s voice still activates me from the inside.
I judge myself with my Mom’s voice
This was when I realized that I was still fighting her, unconsciously. I realized that in order to compensate for her depriving me of treats — I over-ate, over-treated myself and felt sick. It became clear I was divorced from body, in order to “punish” my Mom, who never knew better herself.
It took me years to find balance, to replace the inner critical voice with self compassion and self acceptance.
This is what I’d like to teach you how to do!
The Self Loving Queen Academy
is open for a limited time
We begin on September 19, 2022